Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
