From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
