If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
