: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
