I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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