We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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