I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
