Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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