Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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