dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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