Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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