There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
