He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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