i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
