its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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