Having a random hookup so left but love u
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
