i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
