Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
