god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
