Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I didn't notice because vodka
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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