Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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