This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
