that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
