Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
