no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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