Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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