my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I think your dad took our porno
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
