apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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