i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
