why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
