If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Randomize
