Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
