we need to drink 2009 down the drain
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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