So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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