He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
that may or may not have been my penis.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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