can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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