"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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