i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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