I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
