I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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