Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
