Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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