so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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