I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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