did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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