i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
