hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Randomize
