Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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