well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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