What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
