College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
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